One of my heroic parent figures, Claudelle Kubin, had her leg amputated the second week of August 2018. Her eldest daughter, my childhood friend, and now Facebook friend, Michelle Kubin Robins, is my dear friend. Mrs. Kubin’s husband died while Michelle and I were in the 8thgrade. It was a shock and a tragedy. Mrs. Kubin single-handedly raised Michelle and Michelle’s 3 siblings. All four turned out to be responsible, awesome adults.
As most of you all know, I live in Chattanooga, but I work in Dalton. After the amputation surgery, Mrs. Kubin was undergoing rehabilitation in Dalton . Michelle lives in Houston, Texas. I let Michelle know that if her Dalton siblings needed me to do something in Dalton for Mrs. Kubin to please let me know. Michelle said, “Thanks, Haven”
For several days, I kept telling myself, “After school, I’ve GOT to go see Mrs. Kubin.” … get up in the AM, drive to school, go home…. Exercise with my family, grade papers, get ready for bed, get to bed, get up and do it all again….. no visiting Mrs. Kubin. She passed on August 22, 2018, and I had not visited that sweet, precious lady. I was very upset with myself. I probably rarely came into Mrs. Kubin’s mind, but she was in MY MIND. I loved her and appreciated her, but I didn’t tell her. She wasn’t blood -family, but she was my sister in Christ and a wonderful parent figure to me.
I prayed and prayed for my heart -hurt to be healed, and God and the Spirit opened my heart to one of my favorite, gospel Blue-grass songs that I know: Give me the Roses while I live
Give Me The Roses While I Live
Wonderful things of folks are said
When they have passed away
Roses adorn the narrow bed
Over the sleeping clay
Give me the roses while I live
Trying to cheer me on
Useless are flowers that you give
After the soul is gone
Kind words are useless when folks lie
Cold in a narrow bed
Don’t wait till death to speak kind words
Now should the words be said
Let us not wait to do good deeds
Till they have passed away
Now is the time to sow good seeds
While here on earth we stay
I knew I could not give Mrs. Kubin her flowers while she lived, but 1) I could send Michelle a memory garden in her mother’s honor and 2) I could find and share with my other childhood parent figures how I felt about them. I had Michelle and her family a memory garden delivered to their home in Houston, and Michelle sent me a beautiful thank you message via Facebook. Now….
I’m sharing what I did not to “toot my own horn” but to encourage you all to “give them [whomever you love & appreciate] their roses” .
I knew I had to send flowers to Mike and Sandra Lyle and Ellen Durham. These people helped raise me. Mike and Sandra’s daughter are the parents of my dear friend, Kim Lyle Schelegel, and Ellen is the mother of my faithful and awesome friend, Scot Durham (Scot lost his father, Ronald several years … I miss Mr. Durham’s corny jokes). These parents allowed me into their homes, fed me, took me to places where we had fun, chaperoned excursions, and most of all they loved me and gave me untimely advice. When I was 16, my father died. I KNEW that if I needed them, they would have dropped everything to come to my side. Praise the Lord, I never needed to call on them, but I knew they loved me and supported me.
I got on the phone to order flowers from my favorite, Dalton Florists, Ruth & Doyles. However, that is where Ellen Durham works! LOL I had no idea how I was going to pull it off. Guess what??!! God had it handled. Ellen was off that day! Woot Woot! I ordered the flowers, and I had them delivered. They delivered them that very day.
By the next week, I had received two very kind yet unnecessary Thank you cards. Yes, they were from, Mike and Sandra and Ellen. My heart soared! I am so blessed to still have them, and I still know they would help me in a heart beat if I needed them.
Y’all the flowers/roses DO NOT have to be literal flowers/roses. They can be kind words, kind deeds , or other gifts to the people you appreciate. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you let them know! Happy Saturday everyone. –Haven
Haven's Ideals by Haven Caylor-Brown 