I did not think this up, but a clever preacher, Mark Flynn, preached a wonderful sermon one morning years ago from the Hebrew word, YHWH (to be, to exist, to breathe). God is the great “I am” which is the present tense of “to be”; God was, God is, and God will be. He is always “to be” because He is eternal. In his sermon, Brother Mark was like , “Breathe while using these letters… Yhhhhh (inhaling) and Whhhhhhh (exhaling)”. Did you try it? Go ahead, I will wait….
I was dumbfounded and actually felt “being” as I was sitting and breathing and trying to breathe YHWH. Did you feel that way too? God gave Adam the “breath of life”, and we have it too. We know we can have it because Jesus Christ, God’s son, reminds us that HE IS as part of God with his words of “I am” . So, this isn’t a lesson on baptism, but just a few scriptures where we know we are connected to Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
Acts 2:38Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit and Galatians 3:27for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
When we dwell in Jesus the Christ we are a part of the “I am” , y’all!
The preacher today did not share all the Jesus “I ams”, but he did use the Exodus 3:15 YHWH and connected it to Jesus. Like the Apostle Paul told the Greeks who were traveling up on the Athens Acropolis and thinking about honoring the “unknown god” (they did not want to offend a “left out god”)… I’m paraphrasing but Paul said, “ I am here to preach about that God in whom we live, breath, and have everything else”. Paul then finished up by telling of Jesus’ resurrection as God’s son, our “breathing, alive, savior”
This morning, my heart has been so full that I felt I couldn’t keep this to myself—I felt led to share a simple, beautiful way to experience YHWH on this peaceful Sunday. Each time I’ve returned to this gentle breathing exercise today, it has wrapped me in deep peace, softened my worries, and helped me feel cradled in His presence. Whether this is your very first time trying something like this, or you’ve practiced breathing and feeling YHWH’s nearness before, I invite you to come back to it with a peaceful, open heart, rest quietly in that presence, and then consider sharing what you experience so others can be comforted and encouraged, too.
I can’t remember exactly when Carter, Ammon, Sean, and I first tucked those tiny petunia starters into Nana’s urns—sometime between 2018 and 2020, or maybe even earlier—but I remember how it felt; we four working together to make Nana (Joyce Carter Brown) feel happy and proud. Nana had two urns, one by her front door and one nestled between her garage doors, and after that first winter the petunias did what living things do when they’re given half a chance—they died back, then quietly self-seeded and returned, spring after spring. When Nana passed, I worried that without her gentle “petting” and without us there to water and fuss over them, they’d finally give up. Instead, in a way that still feels mysterious to me, the flowers near the front door faded, but the ones between the garage doors flourished. From July 2022 through June 2024, whenever we were at Nana’s house, I found myself on weeding and babying those stubborn blooms, learning that tending petunias isn’t so different from tending our own hearts: both need time, attention, and a bit of faith to keep growing. The day we brought Nana’s furniture to Knoxville, I wrapped the urn in padded towels and tucked it carefully behind my truck seat, determined that the life she had nurtured would keep going. Of course, the petunias made it safely to our new front porch in Farragut, and the photo you see captures the moment they began their next season with us.
As the days grew shorter and the frosts set in during the autumn of 2024, I kept asking myself where Nana’s petunias would be safest. I moved the urn between our garage doors, hoping the extra winter sun would help them hang on. For a few weeks they tried, but the frosts finally took them, and I gently cleared away the dead foliage. The urn stayed there between the garage doors through the quiet winter months. Time moved on, and at last the spring of 2025 arrived. I carried the urn back to our front door, remembering how, at Nana’s house, tiny green petunia leaves would bravely push their heads up through the soil each year. I couldn’t recall exactly when in the spring they usually appeared, but I kept waiting and watching, as if looking for a sign that something cherished in our lives might return. Nothing. The urn remained by the front door until the middle of summer. Only a few blades of grass and stubborn weeds emerged. My heart sank, and I prayed, “Thank you, God, for the years you gave us with Nana and her petunias. I am glad they got to move with us and flourish for a season.” In that moment, I felt how much our own lives resemble those flowers—how we, too, bloom for a time and then make room for whatever comes next. I sadly moved the urn to our back deck, where it has remained. You all have seen our lovely Alberta spruces in my social media posts, the ones we bought at Home Depot. They now flank our front doors. We love them, and they should live for almost 20 years, quietly gracing our entryway with their evergreen steadiness, a different kind of flourishing.
Side story: when we moved into our house here in Knoxville, a beautiful tulip tree stood right beside our garage. Its elegant pink blooms welcomed us the very first time we saw the house on Saturday, March 16, 2024, and we were immediately smitten. By the time we actually moved in, the tree had traded its blooms for luscious green leaves, and we were already imagining the joy of seeing those blossoms return in March 2025. Then, in the summer of 2024, a crack appeared in the garage. We soon learned that the house had a history of foundation settling, and while the tulip tree’s roots were not the only cause, they were quietly adding to the problem. With heavy hearts, we accepted that we had to cut the tree down and grind the stump so the roots would stop harming the garage’s foundation. It felt like another lesson in how even something beautiful can, over time, put pressure on what we’re trying to build. Let me make a connection and build some schema for what is coming. The petunia urn sat about ten feet from the little shrub garden that surrounded the tulip tree. The tree company came in around March of 2025 to cut it down and, eventually, grind the stump. Nothing remained of that lovely tulip tree, and the small shrubs sit there to this day, a quiet reminder that growth as well as protection (we didn’t want the garage to tumble down(, both in gardens and in our lives, sometimes means letting go.
I love being outside. There isn’t constant care needed here in this yard like at McDonald Road. We are blessed to have an economical and kind lawn maintenance man who both mows and weed eats. Sean and I scratch around in the flower beds, pick up sticks, and are blessed with a wonderful pine thicket where we can haul the yard debris. Easter weekend this year, I was piddling in the yard and pulling some weeds in the scrub bed beside the garage. Right at the edge of the shrub garden, where it meets the pebbled driveway, I noticed a little green plant that did not look like a weed. It reminded me of the tiny sprouts of self-seeding petunias that once flourished in Nana’s urns. I thought, “No way!” I didn’t tell Sean or the family. I simply weeded around it and started watering it. Then several more sprouts appeared. I waited patiently for several weeks. Weeds or petunias? On Saturday, May 2, 2026, my question was answered. A beautiful pink petunia bloomed—a carbon copy of one of the colors Nana had in her urn. I was elated, and tears quickly filled my eyes. I wiped them away, snapped a photo, and texted it to Sean. He quickly came down, and we both stood and stared in nostalgic love and remembrance.
All summer long the petunias kept spreading, and their colors were exactly the same as the ones that had once filled the urn. I cherished every minute of weeding and watering them in this summer of 2026, quietly hoping that next spring and summer they will grow enough to cover the very space where the tulip tree once stood.
Botany tells us that petunia seeds can wait silently in the earth for years until the conditions are right to bloom, but this is more than mere “science” to me; it feels like a spiritual connection. Nana’s flowers returning to us out of nowhere after 16 months is a gentle reminder from God that love never really leaves us—it simply waits, then finds new ways to bloom and spread when the time is right. Just as those tiny seeds rested, unseen, until they could push beyond the small urn and spill into a bigger space, our hearts, too, can lie quiet and hidden after loss or change. Yet God invites us to trust that, in His time, the love we have received will stir again and help us grow beyond what we once thought possible. Like the petunias breaking free of their old container and flourishing in a wider patch of earth, we are called to let God lead us beyond our small, familiar spaces so we, too, can grow, flourish, and fill the world around us with beauty.
I love exercising (LOW IMPACT), and I have all my life. My body wasn’t designed for sprinting, but years ago I discovered that walking was good for my fat. As a middle-aged, overweight adult, I discovered that I burned more calories especially if I was trying to lose weight… like for the 1000th time in my life … if I jogged.
=>Tangent: you wonderful friends who say my body is just fine, I SO MUCH appreciate that, but according to age, height, & body size crap, I’m 10 pounds overweight. I’m 145 yet I should weigh 135 … I digress <=
Since Sean and I moved to our house and property here in 2004, we’ve taken advantage of our fields to keep a periphery mowed for a jogging/walking track. It is awesome, and the whole route takes approximately 12 minutes to complete. However, we appreciate diverse surroundings. Weather permitting, Carter, Ammon, Sean, and I also walk as a family every day and in various, surrounding locations. We walk approximately an hour. HOWEVER, Walking doesn’t help me lose weight, and if I choose to indulge a bit, I gain weight while STILL walking an hour every day. So, poor ol’ Haven who destroyed his metabolism by abusing his body with crash diets over 35 years ago needs to jog to help burn extra calories. The best part is that I do enjoy jogging especially in nature. When I jog by myself, it’s an introspective treat. Jogging invigorates my body, mind, and spirit whether in the hills of Southeast Tennessee, on the beach in Daytona Beach, Florida, on sidewalks along the shores of the River Thames in London, England, or down the Medieval streets of Gdansk, Poland.
I recently started watching some YouTube videos for the mind and body. The soul is still filled with prayer and daily Bible study with God’s word…. Haven’t used YouTube for the soul any. A mind over body motivational speaker, David Goggins, is on both YouTube and Instagram. I understand his motivational speaking and even SOME of his cursing because sometimes a good curse word has an IMPACT no other synonym can match. His motivation to me says, “Get up & Get at it! Stop the whining refuse (arrrgh, I want to curse!) and excuses!” This “Get up & Get at it” is all about mind, body, and soul (my relationship with God) for Haven, but, for today’s entry, I’m sticking to the topic of PHYSICAL/CARDIO EXERCISE.
At some point every day, my lower back hurts, my right knee hurts (it has off and on for almost 20 years… Sean say’s it my meniscus), my right shoulder hurts, and I have a 3 feet long varicose vein on my left leg that looks HORRENDOUS like disfigured looking- yet not the least bit painful. LOL. Like David Goggins discusses staring at his running shoes before he runs, I do the same: it’s like an event. This event sometimes takes 10 minutes to complete. I look at the socks, I put on the socks, I look at the shoes (sometimes boots), I tie the shoes, and I sit. I prefer jogging in the mornings. Honestly, my lower back and legs are sore the majority of the mornings, and if I have my coffee first then wait an hour, the process goes a lot more smoothly and happily. Now, after saying that, I don’t want to wait 2 hours after getting up to run. I want to do it as early as possible. Okay, okay…. Moving along… I’ve had my YouTube channel for 10 years, and after watching some mind and body influencers on it, I decided that this 55 years old fart, Haven Caylor-Brown, could diversity his YouTube channel and socialize with other old farts regarding their physical, mental, and spiritual fitness.
DANG! Those are MONSTER Crows’ Feet! Geez!
This morning I jogged for 1 hour and 5 minutes. It was 4.47 miles, and I burned 662 calories. It was awesome, and I have been jogging this route at Enterprise South for about 2 weeks now jogging it 3 times a week. There are plenty of spacious, paved roads with sights (deer, foxes, trees, squirrels, chipmunks, & birds) and sounds of nature, but the ground of the wooded paths are “padded”, and much easier on my knees, legs, and lower back. I do hope my jogging adventures will inspire / influence some folks to get some cardio exercise or exercise more, and as the days and weeks go by, I will be using my jogging and walking videos to weave some mental and spiritual thoughts, inspirations, and positive influences as well.
Well, we were supposed to see and experience Olympia on October 13, 2011, the site of the original Olympic Games; however, the operators of the historical sites chose to go on strike. I decided to stay on the ship. I am posting some “post card-type” pictures, but they are not mine. That morning I had a spiritual experience, and that is what I am sharing with you all now. Have a blessed weekend during this blessed season of Advent leading to Christmas.
Revelation 21:23
The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. (NIV)
Thursday October 13, 2011
After a great night’s sleep on Wednesday, I arose to a new day around 6:45 am. I got my coffee and water, and jogged for 20 minutes aboard the Star Princess. When I finished, I enjoyed a good breakfast that I carried to just about the highest point where passengers are allowed. The full moon was setting on the west side of the ship, the sun was rising above the mountains east of Katakolon, Greece (our port of call), and I was in between enjoying my meal. I had been waiting and waiting for the sun to rise the whole time I jogged. On the same platform stood 4 Asians who I am pretty sure were Japanese. One of the men had a camera, and I was quite sure he was waiting for the sun to peek over the mountains so he could get a good photograph.
I had already said several morning prayers as I jogged, and I had asked God to bless my breakfast before I ate, but I had yet to bow my head in prayer or kneel in prayer as I often do. I looked at the Asian gentleman, and he was, indeed, snapping a few pictures of the peeking sun. The two women seemed a bit giddy, and one was waving her hands in an upward direction “encouraging” the sun to rise. I was amused. When the entire sun was above the mountain top, the other Asian woman placed her hands in a prayer position, faced the rising sun and made a grateful shoulder-bow while the other Asian woman did the same in front of her. The only time I have knelt publicly in prayer has been for communion at St. Martin’s. When I saw the women bow towards the sun, the Holy Spirit moved in me, and my heart started beating faster. I knew what the Spirit was encouraging me to do: I was to kneel in prayer and thank my Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ (God’s Son) for the new day in view of those people. I have always been a firm believer in “going to your closet” to pray, and I have. Prayer is VERY PERSONAL and should not be for show. I placed my plate on the bench, went down on bended knee, placed my hands in the prayer position, and thanked God for the day. I was immediately ENERGIZED in the Spirit. I gathered my things and I did not look back to see if the Asians had watched. However, if they did, I wanted them to know that I was a Son worshipper, and not a worshipper of our nearest star, the sun.